January 29, 2001  
ah! Yay, people are posting alot more at renegade (thats my group blog, which is heaps better then this)
now, I have to find a better layout to put here, cuz this is gonna be my personal blog, heres some crap I wrote the other day:

I'm offline as I write this, anyway here goes:

Its 12:22 am on Sunday. Day after tommorow I have to start school again, that totally sucks.
Well, its good that I've gotten used to it gradually with the summer production school, but still my body is in "holiday mode" ie: going to bed at 3am, waking up at 11:30am, (which may seem early to all you rebels out there, but for me its late) My bodyclock has got me into a fair bit of trouble, cuz I don't wake up to my alarm at 8am any more, I just miss it so I arrive 2 hours late to rehearsal. How slack of me.
I've spent the last 40 minutes reading all of http://danielle.pitas.com She doesn't archive her entries alot, so I read the whole friggin' page cuz her life is so much more interesting then mine. She's a half-asian, activist, language-infatuated, home schooled 16 year old, and I dunno, she just really intrigues me. She's really smart and universal. Haha, I'm saying this stuff about her, and I've never even met the girl, only read ONE page about here. No, but don't you ever feel like that? Once you read someones diary online, when they have indepth entries, you just feel like you know them and what they're like? I do. People probably don't feel it about me though, cuz my attention span is so short I have really crap entries that last about 2 lines. I'm listening to Debolah Morgan.

My 2 fave songs right now are "The Itch" by Vitamin C and "AM Radio" by Everclear. I'm such a teenybopper, although in real life I'd never admit it. Oh well, I don't care, honestly my taste in music changes alot. Right now I love rock, and teenybopper songs trying to sound really bad and saucy! (aka The Itch by Vitamin C & Stronger by Britney Spears) Its so cute.

I was talking to M on the phone today and I was saying that if we were in Batman & Robin, I'd be the sugary sweet angelic sidekick to two-face and she'd be the devilish, glittery, black-robed evil one. So I'm the angel and she's the devil.

But thats not really "stylish" is it? To be angelic. Every girl rants about anything & everything, and reckon they're soooooo bad, and trying to be controversial, when all they're doing is making people disrespect them because they dissagree with other people for the sake of it. Thats like a few weeks ago at a Caravan Park, I was hanging out with some friends and this group of guys about my age walked past and there was only one girl in the whole group, and I looked at her, just for a sec, and she just greased me off and said "What the fuck are you looking at?" Jeez, its people like that, who's outer image is really weak and its obvious that they are more insecure then anyone else.

I always try to be what other people decide is cool. Fuck that, from now on, I'll be me. haha, I should ALWAYS be me. I won't keep up to it though. I'm a bit of a sheep I have to admit it.

Now that I'm thinking about it, I'm sorta glad to go back to school, different schedule as everyone else, so I want see the exact same people all the time, and I'm in a relatively good class with mostly nice people. I also have some cool subjects too that I've wanted to do since year 7, plus some of them are combined yr 9 & 10 classes, so I could get to know some new people.
I gotta get into some good books though, by shutting up and not expressing my opinion or crapping on about pathetic jokes whenever I get the chance. year 9 and 10 are quiet year levels, I've observed. Not until year 11 or 12, when I can go spastic again, like in year 7. I miss being a kid. In so many ways it feels as if I'm lost part of my youth. Maybe it was being with a 25 year old. I should be going out with guys my own age.

I reckon it'd be really wicked if I could go into the 50's for a day or two, when if I'm going out with a guy, the most controversial thing he'd do is hold my hand, not ask for a head job! I know this guy who's 14 and he's been with his g/f for 6 months and the furthest he's gotten with her is a french kiss/get/pash/open mouth/whatever you want to call it.

AWWWW, that is SO adorable, I mean he's horny like other guys but doesn't act on his hormones. He's such a gentlemen, his g/f is really lucky to be with him. Or WAS until I found out she cheated on him. What a dog! If she reckons all other 14 year olds are gonna keep their hands to themselves like him, I'll be the first to confront her and rip her from her fairytale. Why can't it be like the 50's again? Guys are innocent and sweet and bought everything for the girl, (haha, I'm so cheap)
Right now I'm listening to Kill you by Eminem. Its really good.

I still don't know exactly what R&B is.

Ah, better go, its 12:50. I've been writing for 28 minutes. Better go to sleep now, gotta get used to school bodyclock again.


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